What Was There All Along
by Nikita
Summary: Derek is gone... the team are left to mourn him..
1. Default Chapter

What Was There All Along  
Part I  
  
Alex  
Derek was dead. No matter how many times she repeated those words to herself, Alex just couldn't believe it was true. Just before he had destroyed the house, he had confessed his feelings for her. And now he was gone forever. The beautiful researcher had not stirred out of her room for three days thus far, refusing to eat or speak with anyone. She simply lay on her bed, with a picture, Nick had managed to retrieve for her - and cried.  
It was a picture of Alex getting her degree given to her by Derek himself a broad smile on his face. It was her favourite. Staring down at it, she ignored the knock at her door, remembering stolen moments with her friend, her lover and her mentor. Who knew what might have happened if he hadn't... No she wouldn't even think about that. Burying her head in the pillow she sobbed her heart out for the man she had loved. And lost.  
  
Rachel  
"Alex, honey, it's Rachel - can I come in." Rachel heard her friend's sobbing from within, but didn't know what to say or do to make it better1. There was nothing that could be said that would take away the pain of losing Derek - indeed Rachel had her hands full with her daughter, Kat, and Nick who was solidly refusing to vent any emotion about the loss of the father figure and, more importantly, his friend. Nick was hurting, but he wasn't showing it, directing more practical issues like construction crews, and such.  
Rachel too, missed the reassurance of the friend and sometimes bloody annoying Precept, and had cried herself to sleep for the last few nights too, rocking Kat in her arms in attempt to comfort both of them.  
She tried once more to get Alex to answer, but in the end left her alone. She needed to work through it herself - no-one else could make her come to grips with Derek's death.  
  
Nick  
He watched Rachel try to get Alex to come out for the umpteenth time, without comment even though he knew it would do no good. Alex was grieving, Rachel should concentrate on her own "grieving process" and leave other people to theirs. The good doctor had already tried to get him to talk about his feelings.. but Nick did not want to go there. Derek had left him in charge, and he had to keep things together, keep things moving... just like Derek would've.  
He just had to push everything down and keep it there, until everything was sorted - then and only then would Nick grieve for his friend.  
  
Kat  
She hated everything and everyone. Why had her mother and the others let him do that! Derek should never have died! In fact, Kat was not certain he was... she still felt something, very faint and distant, but it was definately real. She had tried to tune into it but she couldn't get close - it seemed to be buzzing and not entirely there. Her mother and the others were all shocked and in pain over the loss, even Nick who was trying so hard not to lose it. She had heard him crying during the night, sobbing into the pillow and saying sorry for blaming the Precept for Julia's death. He had repeated it over and over..  
  
That night....  
The house was still, but far from quiet. Nick was quietly sobbing in his sleep - reliving the last moments of his friends life. Rachel was tossing and turning - dreaming of an image of an injured, flapping bird, little Kat watching her fearfully. And Alex too was dreaming of a bird - a beautiful Falcon that soared and swooped, searching for a safe port. She heard him whispering her name like he had before he had left them all. Alex..... Reach for me Alex and I will come to you.... You know this place, Alex, you know me.... She woke with a start, the sun streaming in the window. She rose quickly, and went to shower. She had a place she needed to be and there wasn't much time. The urgency in her dream had told her that.  
  
The Return  
"Hey Alex? Where are you going."  
"I can't explain Nick, just get me over to the Island would you. Please?"  
"The island - Alex, honey - " He didn't understand, but one look at her face was all he needed.  
Grabbing their coats, they left a note for the others, and hurried out the door.  
It took a while to get to the island, fgand when they did Alex gave a gasp. The House was a charred mess, blackened foundations and ruined debris. But this was not what she had come to see. She ran to where the garden once was, looking up and shielding her eyes. Nick followed, scanning the sky too but there was nothing but blue sky and clouds. Nothing else. Alex frowned but didn't budge from her position, sitting down determined to wait for something to happen. Nick didn't know what the hell was happening any more, but he was tired so the two sat. Three hours later and they were joined by Kat, Phillip and Rachel. Phillip had only just arrived from Ireland, and looked terrible. They all sat down, Alex refusing to explain. The sun began to set, in its glorious colours, and Alex stood up, feeling a flutter of excitement in her heart. Now was the time! She scanned the darkening sky once more and all of a sudden a black shape wheeled around the island, dazzling in its beauty and grace - a falcon.  
Holding her breath, Alex took a few steps away from the others, trying desperately to figure out what she was to do. She remembered the dream ...reach for me Alex, and I will come to you - the words reverberated and with a sudden realisation she ran forward and flung her arm out crying out.  
"DEREK COME TO ME!" She screamed the words, not caring who heard or watched.  
"Alex -" tried Rachel, this was not going to be pleasant but it might be the cathersis her friend needed.  
The falcon wheeled and then swooped low.  
"Alex, it'll rip your arm to pieces!" Shouted Nick, and started forward. Kat shook her head, something very important was going to happen.  
"Nick please don't. She's doing the right thing. Trust her." She said, tugging on his hand.  
The falcon swooped lower and then came into land, its talons digging into her arm. Crying in pain, Alex refused to move.  
"No dammit, Derek. It can hurt all it likes - but I'm not letting you go again. I refuse, do you hear me! I'm not letting you go!"  
The falcon shimmered and transmuted into something else for a second. The others watched as the figure of their friend took the place of the falcon, hanging onto Alex's arm for dear life, for a minute before fading out again.  
"Derek, please come back to me.. I know it hurts, but we want you with us.. please Derek.... try harder.. you're strong enough dammit - fight! If I ever meant anything to you then prove it now!" She sobbed, trying to get through to him. It made the difference.  
"Alex..." He materialised again and this time he stayed. "Alex..." And he collapsed into her arms, unconscious.  
"It's okay baby, I got you. I got you..." She cradled his limp body in her arms, only now her tears were of joy, not grief.  
The others crowded round, each one silently thanking god for their friend's return.  
  
The Recovery  
She watched him sleeping, a smile on her face. All was right with the world, The Legacy was satisfied that Derek was in fact Derek, and not some Darkside agent. He was being treated at the Hospital for concussion, burns, broken ribs and various other assorted injuries. His story had been an incredible one. While sealing the portal, Derek's father had come for him - and that had been the Darkside's undoing. Derek's real fear was of his father coming back to drag him off into hell, and when he saw him he had reacted without thought and cast a transmutation spell. Transformed into a Falcon, it was only Alex who could save him. But she had left the island and not returned, so he had had to concentrate and try to reach her through her dreams. His deadline was four days, before he could no longer keeping his personality together - he would become the falcon and lose himself forever. But he was safe now, and with Alex and that was all the petite researcher cared about. She had not left his side for an instant, content in the knowledge that he loved her, wanted to be with her and had come back for her. It would be difficult, there would be issues, but not until the House was rebuilt. Until then, he was hers and she was gonna mollycoddle him to the full.  
She stroked his hair gently, and he opened his eyes.  
"Shh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you honey. Go back to sleep."  
"Come with me and I might..." He whispered back, some of the old humor shining through the weakened Precept. He held his arms out and she slid into their warm embrace. Leaning carefully against him, avoiding his IV line, Alex settled into him, head lying on his left side. Luckily the majority of his injuries were on his right side - so she could nestle without hurting him. His long arm went about her slim waist, cradling her close.  
"Alex.." She turned her head carefully and received a lingering kiss.  
"Goodnight" He whispered.... she nodded and closed her eyes. When he thought she was sleeping he looked down at her and added, "I love you Alex", before settling into sleep himself. Far from sleeping, Alex smiled, a tear slipping down her cheek. She slept.  
  
Rachel and Nick found them the next morning.  
"Get the camera, Nick. This one is for Alex." The ex-Seal went and returned with a little mini camera. Rachel snapped a couple of photos, and then they hid it from prying Dutch eyes.  
"I hate to wake them." Mused Rachel, but there were tests to be done, and if all went well, Derek would be allowed home. Rachel's home - Alex was currently in the spare room, but judging from the two before her, that wasn't going to be a problem. Of course, she might need a new bed when Derek recovered sufficiently.. but Rachel didn't give a damn. This had taken a long time to happen, and she wasn't about to condemn anything about it. Alex belonged with Derek and he with her.  
"Alex...honey.. wake up now." Nick gently prodded her shoulder and she woke with a little moan.  
"Nick? What is it, what's wrong?" She asked, immediately checking that Derek was still with her. Every time she woke up, it was with the fear that everything had been a dream and that Derek was really gone.  
"Nothing, just thought you might want to take Derek home to a real bed." He answered with a grin. He hadn't stopped grinning since his friend's somewhat dramatic return. Everything was right, and nothing could go wrong.  
"Really! I can take him home?." She looked at Rachel, with her eyes shining, and the blonde doctor couldn't help but laugh.  
At their faces she managed to stop laughing long enough to explain.  
"You sounded like a kid who wants to take home a puppy." She laughed again, and they joined in.  
Derek woke, to laughter, and watched confused as they continued to laugh at his confused expression.  
"What is it?" He asked, good-naturedly.  
"Nothing, Boss. You're getting out today."  
"Really? I can go home?" He asked, in exactly the same manner as Alex had. It sent them into fits of giggles again.  
"If all you lot are gonna do is laugh, you can stay here and I'll go home." They subsided.  
"Nick, how's the house coming?" He asked.  
"Derek - no work. Alex - here's the key, I'll be home around 4 with Kat." And Rachel went to see about Derek's discharge.  
"Alex.. Hmmm" She kissed him, then, not caring that Nick was there.  
And he kissed her back.  
"Hey you two, go get a room." Said Nick. "But Derek? Dress first. That hospital gown does nothing for you."  
"Oh I don't know, Nick. It's certainly doing something for me." Rebutted Alex, defending her beloved.  
Shaking her head and muttering about absurdities and women in general - Nick left, a huge grin still on his face.  
Alex took Derek home. 


	2. 

What Was There All Along  
Part II   
  
Alex had taken Derek home. As promised they had the place to themselves, and Alex was glad of it. It took little persuasion to get him upstairs and onto the bed, and she was quick to shut the door behind them.  
"How are you feeling, Derek?" She asked seductively, coming up to the bed.  
"Fine... hmmmpfh.." Alex kissed him, passionately, climbing atop him.  
"Alex... huhhh.. alexxxx" She undid the buttons on his shirt one at a time, kissing the bare flesh that was revealed with each one.  
"Alex..." He tried to do more, but she was having none of it, pushing him back down.  
"Derek, lie still. I need to do it this way - to make it feel real..okay?" She asked and he nodded his understanding, laying still as she continued her ministrations.  
She slowly worked her way up his chest, and then to the nape of his neck, nipping hard enough to make him gasp.  
He tried to stay still, as she continued her exploration of his body, until she started working her way lower. Then things got a little different. A little more... tense.  
She lingered for a couple of minutes and then came back up top.  
She moved in closer, pressing against him and making him moan. He pressed against her gently, but didn't enter. She knew what he was waiting for.  
"Derek... love.. take me now.." And she gently massaged his chest and nipples, sensitising him and sending his already excited body mad with lust for more.  
He entered her gently, kissing her mouth when she let him.  
They rocked gently together, Alex nipping his neck, her hands roaming his body - touching every part of him she could lay her hands on. She squeezed his buttocks with one hand, and moaned as his mouth descended on her breasts.  
They were nearing climax, Alex pushing harder against him, revelling in his touch, his flesh and more importantly his love.   
When they came, it was earth shattering and left them breathless and extremely satisfied. With a quick movement, she had him on his front.  
"Alex, what...?"  
"Sssh, honey you need to sleep... thats all...sleep" And she began to run his back, scratching and humming.  
He was quiet and obediant, letting her have her way in this too as he had with everything else.  
Within seconds he was sleeping, and after a while, she fell asleep too, lying on his back with her arms encircling his chest and thighs.  
Mine her posture was saying, all mine.  
  
NC:17 Section End  
  
Derek Rayne woke pleasantly, with Alex's slender and supple body entwined with his. Confused momentarily, he lifted his head and checked a second time.  
Alex woke too, and gave him a kiss, and he rolled her over so that he was on top.  
"Ahh someone's feeling better I see..." She chuckled, giggling as he pressed a kiss on her bellybutton.  
"Much better, thank you..." He murmured, between kisses.  
"Better take it easy though... don't want you back in hospital.." She answered making him lie down on his back once more.  
"Stay there. I'm gonna get some tea and toast. Rachel will be back soon. Ah! Don't make me tie you down.." She said, waving her finger at him.  
"Promises, promises...." He murmured, eyes closing already. She watched for a few seconds, committing the scene to memory - Derek half naked, the sheets clinging to him.  
Smiling, she went to get the tea and toast.  
By the time the others returned home that day, the two had tieded up after themselves and were sufficiently decent and had even made dinner.  
"Hey Boss - you're looking much better." Nick was pleased that his friend was on the mend. Hell he was pleased that his friend was there!  
"But that doesn't get you out of my examination after dinner." Added Rachel and Derek groaned, eliciting a chuckled from Phillip and Nick.  
"Speaking of which - what have you two cooked up there?"  
He was put off annswering by an excited little girl who ran into the room and grabbed his legs.  
"Derek! Derek! I missed you! I'm so glad you're back!" She cried, looking up at him with a big smile on her face.  
"Hi Kat, how was school."  
"Too long! Play on the piano, Derek. It's one of the things I most missed when you were gone. Mom make Derek play!" She was not letting go anytime soon.  
Rachel laughed outright - surprising everyone.  
"Kat, leave Derek alone. He'll play later - if you behave yourself."  
"Will you?? I'll be on my bestest behaviour, I promise!"  
"Sure, but Kat could you do something for me?" He asked, smiling.  
"Sure!" Answered the little girl.  
"Can you let go of my leg long enough for me to serve dinner?"  
She let go immediately and went to wash up, as directed by her mother.  
"She's been like that ever since you came back." Observed Rachel.  
"Oh" was all Derek could think of to say in answer to that, obviously pleased but slightly embarrassed.  
He was saved from anything further by serving dinner which turned out to be an excellent Dutch dish.  
Afterwards he went to wash up, but Nick and Phillip stepped in.  
"Hey you cooked, we'll wash and dry. Besides I think Rachel wants you, Derek."  
"Damn - foiled again!" He muttered, mock serious and was dragged off by Rachel.  
He was back again, ten minutes later, with a triumphant Rachel and nursing a sore arm where she had taken a blood sample.  
They sat for a while, until little Kat remembered his earlier promise and reminded him of it.  
"What shall I play?" He asked her.  
"Bach... the first piece you ever taught me, please."  
He nodded, and played. It was a beautiful piece, and when it was finished it was to silence.  
Finally though someone spoke.  
"That was really something, Derek." Said Nick.  
Little Kat nodded and climbed into his lap. For his part, Derek just yawned slightly, and began a second piece.  
Nick saw it first and nudged Alex.  
"Huh?"  
"Derek's had enough.... he's tired out." he said to her. She nodded, and stood up.  
"Derek... that was truly lovely - but I think it's time we got you to bed. You look all in."  
A sleepy Kat was taken to her room, and an equally sleepy Derek was taken to his.  
Taking their cues, everyone retired for the night.  
Derek slept in late the next morning - and when he did finally wake it was with a temperature of 102 and a fever. Rachel was unsurprised - given his weakened immune system and prior injuries - and immediately sent Alex for ice, and Nick for antibiotics.  
Derek remained feverish, hot and totally out of sorts for two days - with Alex tending to him.  
When he finally came to his senses, she was writing in her journal.  
"Derek? Hi honey, how are you feeling..."  
"Alright, I guess. What happened?"  
"Fever. You overdid it, Derek. As per usual. Would you like a drink?"  
"Please."  
She helped him sit up and held the glass to his lips. After he was finished, Derek tried to get up, but she made him lie still.  
"How's things?" He asked, subsiding in the bed, much to her satisfaction.  
"Fine. Nothing to worry about." Said Alex, and made him more comfortable.  
"How, I'm going to make you a nice cup of tea and some toast. You don't move except to go to the bathroom. Right? Rachel will be up later to check you over."  
He nodded - and smiled innocently - making her extremely suspicious.  
  
Alex had been right to be suspicious. While she was waiting for the kettle to boil, he was getting up, belting a robe about his person. When she was dealing with the toast, he was working his way slowly downstairs.  
By the time she was ready, he was just coming into the kitchen, plopping himself into the chair.  
"Derek! You were supposed to stay in bed." She adomished, and then at his puppydog expression relented, giving him a quick kiss.  
They ate in compaionable silence, and were interrupted by Rachel and Nick.  
"Hey Derek. You look better. And you're eating - that's good." Observed Rachel.  
"I'm sorry Rachel, to be such a bother - it's not like me at all." Apologised the Dutchman.  
"Derek, don't be silly. Have seconds."  
"Cool." Nick helped himself, much to the amusement of everyone present.  
"How's the House coming, Nick - Alex has been telling me about the work being done." He hadn't taken Rachel's advice about the second helping - much to her annoyance. She was about to repeat her request and make it an order - but Nick had an idea.  
"Do you a deal, Derek. You have second helping and I'll tell you all about it." Suggested the ex-Seal.  
"Nick did they teach you the art of blackmail in the Seals - or did you pick it up as you went along." Answered the Dutchman wearily.  
"Learnt it from you actually, Derek. Now do we have a deal?" Repeated the exSeal.  
"Deal"  
  
Some considerable time later...  
"...So it should be livable in a couple of months? Well I can't impose on Rachel that long - besides the Council will want a full report, then there's the caseloads.. the updates... computer data logs.."  
"Derek, listen to me right now. You are not going to do any work whatsoever. You will stay on here and you will rest, recuperate and behave yourself. Do you understand?" Said Rachel, in her sternest doctorlike manner possible.  
"I'm fine... I don't have time to - "  
"Derek - Is. That. Understood."  
"Yes Doctor Corrigan. I will behave myself." Answered the Dutchman, gloomily.  
"Good. Derek, I know it's hard for you not to work, but any overwork now is going to result in another relapse or worse. And Alex here will have your guts for garters if that happens."  
"Yeah, not to mention ours." Quipped Nick, and ducked a whizzing cushion.  
Alex made a face.  
"I am not that bad. Am I Derek."  
"Hey I've been outvoted on this one." He said, with a small smile. 


	3. What Was There All Along Part III

At the museum..  
"Dr Rayne, I'm so sorry to interrupt your convalescence like this.." Started Miranda Blake, meeting them at the entrance of the Winston Rayne Hall of Antiquities.  
"That's quite all right, Ms Blake, how is Officer Kellig? What happened here?" He asked, concernedly.  
"They've taken him to the hospital, Dr Rayne. Please, sit down and I'll tell you exactly what happened." She guided them to her office, and insisted on ordering some coffee before beginning.  
"Kellig went for his usual security check at 11:30 last night. The security camera showed him checking out the stairwell and then... nothing."  
"A camera malfunction" Mused Derek. The assistant curator shook her head.  
"I don't think so, but the police have taken it with them for further analysis."  
"Has Kellig said what attacked him?" Asked Alex, keeping one eye on the Ms Blake and the other on her beloved. She was ready to end this interview at the slightest hint of fatigue or upset on the Dutchman's part.  
"Yes and no. He said he followed laughter to the stairwell, saw what resembled a tall figure, which faded when he reached it. He went to leave, when someone attacked him."  
"Any description?"  
Derek leaned forward at that, intrigued by her choice of words. Alex heard warning bells going off in her head.  
"Vague. The police are doing everything they can, but I felt that I should let you know personally. I know how deeply distressed you must be feeling. If there is anything I can do to help.. call me day or night."  
Ms Blake's voice dropped an octave and Alex suddenly found herself becoming increasingly irratated. Here was Derek, recently back from the dead, having to deal with this when he was supposed to be recuperating - and she was trying to take advantage of him!  
Time to put a stop to this, thought Alex, smiling evilly.  
"Thank you Ms Blake. I'll be sure to do just that." Alex said sweetly, and put her hand on his leg, possessively. It was clear from her stance and tone of voice that she was warning Ms Blake off.  
But it was lost on Derek, though, although he did enjoy her touch.  
Miranda Blake however, got the message loud and clear. Clearing her throat, she rose and extended her hand, obviously ending the conversation.  
Still oblivious to what was being exchanged between the two women, Derek shook her hand and thanked her for the information. Ms Blake didn't bother extending her hand to Alex - she had seen the long fingernails on her adversary and didn't fancy risking her hand.  
They merely nodded at each other, understanding the others position in regards to the tall, handsome Dutchman.  
They left the museum.  
  
"How about some lunch, I don't really want to return just yet. It's such a lovely day." Asked Derek, hopefully.  
"Alright Derek, lets grab some lunch, but then we have to get back. Ok?" Conceeded Alex, smiling broadly. Her smile got wider as he put his arm around her, escorting her in a gentlemanly manner. It felt so right that they were together - a couple. Alex was more happy then she had ever been.  
They went to a lovely little cafe, and shared a delightful two hours eating lunch with cheesecake for dessert. He tried to convince her that he was good for another couple of hours, but Alex read the slight fatigue in his eyes and insisted they went back to Rachel's.  
He conceeded the point, and they returned home.  
  
"Hey Derek, Alex. How was Ms Blake?" Asked Rachel.  
"Chewed up and spat out." Answered Alex, smugly.  
"Oh. Find out anything useful?"  
"How tacky Ms Blake is?" Returned Alex, still pissed at the woman's attitude to what she considered rightfully hers.  
Just then Derek Rayne came back from the bathroom. He yawned.  
"Derek, how are you feeling?"  
"A little tired..." Admitted the Dutchman, and yawned again.  
"Derek?"  
"Hmm?"  
"Go take a nap." Ordered Rachel.  
When Alex got up too - Rachel shook her head.  
"He needs sleep Alex. You go with him, and that will be the last thing Derek gets. You can have him tonite. Okay." The beautiful researcher nodded, satisfied that it was indeed the right thing to do. Rachel was right - Derek needed his rest. Particularly for what she had in mind for tonight.... 


End file.
